


though the stars walk backward

by anna709



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, I needed some sort of catharsis, no pain, only love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 18:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6161879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anna709/pseuds/anna709
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward.<br/>- e. e. cummings</p>
            </blockquote>





	though the stars walk backward

**Author's Note:**

> I just really needed a release from all the pain of this latest episode. It's a bit of a stream of thought, so I'm sorry if it's crappy. I hope we all feel better soon. Come over to my tumblr shadowanddancer if you need a hug. Much love.

You kiss her. You kiss her because you’re about to leave, to throw yourself in the middle of another war and you don’t know if you’re going to come out of it alive. You don’t know if she is. You kiss her because your chest feels tight and her eyes are piercing through you with so many unspoken feelings and suddenly you can’t bear the thought of the last contact between you being a handshake. A stupid fucking handshake, like she’s not the one who made you start breathing again after months of feeling stifled by the weight on your shoulders. Like she hasn’t been the one thing that had been making you smile these past few days, despite your best efforts to resist her pull. You’ve been trying so hard to ignore what you were both feeling, focusing only on the anger and blood between you, and what for? It just wasn’t worth it.

 

Lexa sobs into your mouth, so you wrap your arms around her as tight as you dare, feeling her tremble in tandem with the press of your mouths. You kiss her eagerly, without a hint of finesse and she tastes like tears, but somehow still sweet. Her eyes, when you pull back, are a mix of awe and disbelief, and you don’t think you’ve seen anything more beautiful than the fragile smile that curves her lips. It makes you long for paper and charcoal, and you want to dedicate a thousand portraits to the shine in her eyes and the crinkle on her nose.

 

Suddenly those scant few inches become an ocean between you, so you pull her back into you, catching her gasp with all the hunger you’ve been holding back. You want her mouth and her hands and her skin. You want her under, over and inside you, closer than your own heartbeat and anything between you now is unbearable.

_Lexa, Lexa, Lexa_ , your head is spinning as you push her to the bed, and maybe you should say something, but you can’t. Your heart is too full, thundering in your ears, and you can’t focus on anything but this. _Lexa_. You’re on top of her and her arms are around your waist and she’s still crying as you part her lips with your tongue.

 

You pause, struck by a creeping doubt that maybe this is too much, too fast, but Lexa doesn’t let you go far. Your skin burns where her hands touch under your shirt and there’s almost a bite to her kiss now. Clothes don’t stand a chance against your combined passion and, where before being naked made you feel vulnerable, now you feel larger than life. Your hips are cradled in the V of her thighs and nothing ever felt as good as her hands buried deep in your hair, dragging you to a longer, deeper kiss when you tried to divert your attention to her neck.

 

She’s so small. She’s taller and stronger than you, but she’s so fucking _small_. She battles death without blinking and commands whole armies, but it’s not the Commander moving under you now. It’s Lexa. Lexa who is impossibly gentle and sassy and playful and so fucking fragile it makes you want to bring down scores of mountains. Lexa is a girl, tiny and young like you, and the world had been pounding steel into her bones her whole life, and you can’t imagine how painful that must be. _Love is weakness_ was her shield, but it was a lie. Lexa loves too much and too hard and you refuse to let it bring her to her knees. You will be her strength.

 

It’s almost painful parting from her lips, but you need her eyes. Her eyes which are foam green and gray and so damn mesmerizing even with the smeared make-up and the redness brought by her early tears. Your breath catches in your chest, because even if the words never passed her lips, her eyes say _so_ much. She loves you. She loves you with painful intensity and you love her back with a wild desperation that reminds you of the panther you killed in the forest a few weeks ago. You think maybe it shows, because her smile turns blissful, like she just received the most precious gift.

 

Your forehead falls gently against hers and her eyes take on a surprised glint as you brush your noses together. You’re remembering your first kiss and you know she is too. It feels right in this moment as you hold her eyes and taste her breath and slip inside her with the same tenderness with which she kissed you then.

 

She’s shaking again as your fingers are enveloped in her warmth. Your name is the first word she utters since you first kissed her and it comes out as a needy whimper. You make love to her slowly and gently, never once breaking your gaze, watching her pupils grow and her eyes darken like a thundercloud. She comes with a long, stuttered moan that is the single most erotic thing you’ve ever heard and, if there’s any reason in this world to believe in a higher power, it’s the fact that this ugly, violent life gave birth to someone so achingly beautiful.

 

You roll onto your back and wrap yourself around her, arms and legs holding her firmly against your body. Her grip around your ribs is so tight it makes it hard to breathe and it’s a wonderful kind of pain. The room is too hot and the furs are sticking uncomfortably to your sweaty skin, Lexa’s hair is covering half your face and it’s the best you’ve felt in months. You finally feel peace.

 

Later on war and duty will drag you both back to reality, but for now all that exists is you and Lexa and this love that you know, without a shadow of a doubt, will be the thing carries you through it all. You refuse to allow anything else.


End file.
